Here's the thing. You may all be best friends. You may all be sorority sisters. You may have gotten into a fight years ago, but the bride kept in touch with both sides. You may not know each other at all. But you're a team, and it's your job to lead the team and get them to work together.
I got pretty lucky with my team. I've known one of them for years and we are friends separate from our friendship with Britteny. I've known Britteny's cousin for a few years and we've always gotten along well. And though I didn't initially know Jon's younger sister, she's an absolute sweetheart.
Now if I was closer to these girls (I'm living in New Zealand until about 6 months before the wedding) I would have organized individual lunch dates with each girl, and then a group lunch for the four of us to get to know each other a bit better. I'd definitely suggest something of the sort if you can. I probably will still get all of us together for a meal or something when I'm able to next year. Better late than never.
In lieu of being able to actually meet with these girls I did the next best thing, which you should do regardless. I started a facebook thread. Actually, I started two. One with the bride, and one without. (This way, she has an easy way to contact all of us at once, and we have a way to plan surprises/brainstorm shower ideas/get to know eachother etc.) I also started a private facebook group with documents for us to all update regarding contact information, payment information (for when one person picks something us and needs people to pay her back), etc. (More information on all of this when I talk about organisation.)
I started the ball rolling by asking everyone to share how they know Jon and Britteny. I then asked that we all share a bit about ourselves. What do you like to do in your spare time, what are you excited to help out with, where do you work, when is your birthday, etc. You know, that kind of stuff.
I would suggest that if your team is a bit quiet at first to offer up information about yourself and let them follow suit to respond. I initially posed some questions, and after not getting a response for a few days answered the questions myself and then waited. Pretty quickly, each girl responded.
Lastly, make yourself available! I told these girls every possible way to contact me. Being so far away, I wanted to stress how easy it can be to reach me. I gave them all my email, skype account and phone number (since we all have iPhones, thank you technology). If you're able to meet up with them in person, maybe arrange cute little cards that they can keep in their wallet with the best ways to reach you. It could come in handy in case she comes up with an amazing time-sensitive idea, or she gets into an argument with another bridesmaid, or something has come up and there's no way for her to get to a meeting/appointment/whatever.
Main things to remember:
- You are a team! Regardless of your past, or lack-thereof, you need to work together for the good of the Bridal Party and the Bride.
- Bring the group together. Make it easy for them to contact each other and you.
- Try to connect with each girl individually, and encourage everyone to connect with each other.
- Get to know each other and share your strengths. Make a note of each girls' strengths for later task delegations. (One girl is a bookworm? Ask her to proofread address labels and invitations. One girl is a couponer? Ask her to work out the budget for the Bridal Shower.)
- Be ready and able to lead by example. Start the conversation, don't just ask questions.
- Make yourself available!
