This Blog Has Been Moved!

Hello!

My Maid of Honor blog, along with my other two blogs, has been relocated to WordPress! I'm very happy with the change and I hope that you will be too!

My WordPress page can be found here.

If you're interested specifically in my Maid of Honor blog posts, those and only those will appear here.

I've got a lot in the works and have been actively collecting material and ideas through my conversations with the Bride to Be and the Bridesmaids. I still have tons to share with all of you future Maids of Honor and Braidsmaids and I hope that you come on over and have a look!

Thanks for all of the support and I look forward to seeing you at my new home in the vast workings of the internet!

Rally the Troops

Your bride is going to need a lot of help, especially as the wedding approaches. She may ask a lot of you and she may not. Regardless, she's given you a team: the bridesmaids!

Here's the thing. You may all be best friends. You may all be sorority sisters. You may have gotten into a fight years ago, but the bride kept in touch with both sides. You may not know each other at all. But you're a team, and it's your job to lead the team and get them to work together.

I got pretty lucky with my team. I've known one of them for years and we are friends separate from our friendship with Britteny. I've known Britteny's cousin for a few years and we've always gotten along well. And though I didn't initially know Jon's younger sister, she's an absolute sweetheart.

Now if I was closer to these girls (I'm living in New Zealand until about 6 months before the wedding) I would have organized individual lunch dates with each girl, and then a group lunch for the four of us to get to know each other a bit better. I'd definitely suggest something of the sort if you can. I probably will still get all of us together for a meal or something when I'm able to next year. Better late than never.

In lieu of being able to actually meet with these girls I did the next best thing, which you should do regardless. I started a facebook thread. Actually, I started two. One with the bride, and one without. (This way, she has an easy way to contact all of us at once, and we have a way to plan surprises/brainstorm shower ideas/get to know eachother etc.) I also started a private facebook group with documents for us to all update regarding contact information, payment information (for when one person picks something us and needs people to pay her back), etc. (More information on all of this when I talk about organisation.)

I started the ball rolling by asking everyone to share how they know Jon and Britteny. I then asked that we all share a bit about ourselves. What do you like to do in your spare time, what are you excited to help out with, where do you work, when is your birthday, etc. You know, that kind of stuff.

I would suggest that if your team is a bit quiet at first to offer up information about yourself and let them follow suit to respond. I initially posed some questions, and after not getting a response for a few days answered the questions myself and then waited. Pretty quickly, each girl responded.

Lastly, make yourself available! I told these girls every possible way to contact me. Being so far away, I wanted to stress how easy it can be to reach me. I gave them all my email, skype account and phone number (since we all have iPhones, thank you technology). If you're able to meet up with them in person, maybe arrange cute little cards that they can keep in their wallet with the best ways to reach you. It could come in handy in case she comes up with an amazing time-sensitive idea, or she gets into an argument with another bridesmaid, or something has come up and there's no way for her to get to a meeting/appointment/whatever.

Main things to remember:

• You are a team! Regardless of your past, or lack-thereof, you need to work together for the good of the Bridal Party and the Bride.
• Bring the group together. Make it easy for them to contact each other and you.
• Try to connect with each girl individually, and encourage everyone to connect with each other.
• Get to know each other and share your strengths. Make a note of each girls' strengths for later task delegations. (One girl is a bookworm? Ask her to proofread address labels and invitations. One girl is a couponer? Ask her to work out the budget for the Bridal Shower.)
• Be ready and able to lead by example. Start the conversation, don't just ask questions.
• Make yourself available!

The Groom's Consultant

Now this post's title may seem a little weird and counter-intuitive, but I promise that it will make sense soon.

Systematically, the first task of the Maid of Honor takes place before she's actually the Maid of Honor. Now this task doesn't necessarily fall on the MoH, it may fall on the Bride's friend whom the Groom feels closest to, so if you find yourself completing this task, don't necessarily expect to be asked anything special any time soon.

As the future bride's best friend, it is your job to make sure that the moment she gets proposed to is maybe not what she always dreamed of, but something she’ll always remember. You know what she likes, and as her friend, you know what she needs.

So when the Groom says he wants to propose and asks for advice, location suggests and thoughts on the ring, you know what to say.

Jon and Britteny kind of had a plan for their engagement. They were going to get engaged during the summer of 2014 and have a one-year engagement before the wedding in 2015.

Jon wanted to surprise Britteny, so around February of 2013 he told me that he was moving the proposal up to Christmas 2013. (Britteny loves Christmas more than the average human being.) He started sending me pictures of rings and asking about how he should pop the question. Around Easter Jon had picked out the ring and decided that he couldn’t wait until Christmas, so it became Summer 2013.

Britteny and I have always talked about how she wanted her dad to be asked permission. I knew that she wanted her proposal to be simple, yet romantic. Jon and I discussed a romantic meal, followed by a walk through a park where he would pop the question. Lastly, the two would arrive at another restaurant to celebrate where they would be met by their families to congratulate them.

Jon and Britteny are both very close to their families, so being able to share this occasion with them was really important.

Main things to remember:

• Don’t think about what you want! Think about what the Bride would want!
• Be firm, but gentle. If you really know what’s best for your friend, then the Groom will listen. You’re on the same side here! Similarly, if the Groom really wants to incorporate something that you’re unsure about, trust him. This is your friend’s future life partner. It’s safe to say that he probably knows her as well as you do.
• Give advice only when asked! Do not offer up advice just because you know that an engagement is being planned!
• Do not spread the word unless the Groom asks you to as part of his plan!
• Do not take it personally if your suggestions are shot down! Ultimately, the Groom has to do what he is comfortable with.
• Don’t expect or ask for praise or credit! As the Maid of Honour, you’re going to be doing quite a bit of letting other people have moments in the spotlight. Start practicing now.

The Relationship

I've introduced you to my friendship with Britteny, so now it's time to introduce you to her fiance!

Britteny and Jon have known each other for quite a while. They went to the same Catholic School, one year apart in age, from years K-8. I didn't meet Jon until he joined us at the high school.

Britteny and I were never really friends with him. We knew Jon, but he wasn't in choir with us and he wasn't in any classes with us due to being a year younger.
That all changed when we were in University.

Jon came to the same college that Britteny and I attended. We started spending more time with him and getting to know him during junior year, when he started working at our campus tutoring center with us. (I just realized that I forgot to mention this in my last post. Britteny was a Math Education major in university, and I just liked Math and eventually took it on as a minor. We both started tutoring fellow students our sophomore year. Jon, who was also majoring in Math Education, started working with us a year later.) We all even took a class about tutoring methods together. (Seriously, those were a lot of fun.. I'm linking them.) We got to know Jon a lot better from spending time with him at work.

Alright, I admit, you might find those lame and confusing if you know nothing about math or math related pick-up lines.. But I just had a great time re-watching them!

Towards the end of junior year, Britteny told me that she thought Jon liked her. Not long after, Jon confirmed it to me. That summer, they went on a few dates before confirming the relationship on the 6th of July, 2011.

Britteny and Jon's first photo as a couple at Britteny's 21st birthday party. 2011

Their relationship stayed steady (and sickeningly adorable) for the next two years.

NYC. 2011

I know it's blurry, but I think it's adorable!! 2011

New Year's. 2011/2012

Disney Vacation. 2012

Jon's Undergraduate Graduation. 2013

Summer. 2013

Two year anniversary. 2013

The Engagement

Jon originally wanted to propose on their two year anniversary, however he didn't have the ring back from the jeweler yet. He mentioned that the anniversary present hadn't come in yet and that he would give it to her soon. About two weeks later, Jon brought Britteny out to dinner for, as she was told, her birthday.

After dinner, Jon brought Britteny to a park and gave her the belated anniversary present. Jon had concealed the ring within three boxes. While Britteny worked her way to the center, Jon got down on one knee.

[After answering Jon's question, Britteny immediately texted me and asked to Skype. When we were on, I could see the happy couple together in Jon's car. It was then that I became the Maid of Honor (officially).]

Jon had one last plan for the evening. He brought Britteny to a restaurant where their families were waiting to congratulate them and celebrate.

Engagement. 2013

The Engagement Ring. 2013

The couple has already taken engagement photos, but unfortunately I don't have access to them. When I can, I will definitely post some.

The two plan to be married summer of 2015.

The Friendship

I thought that I would start this off with a look into mine and Britteny's friendship.

Britteny and I have been friends since we were in 7th grade. Though we didn't go to school together, we were both involved with a local theatre group. I didn't even know that we were the same age until we were in 8th grade and we talking about both going to our town's high school the following year.

We didn't really get to know each other until our freshmen year, when we had a lot of classes together. We walked to classes together, we hung out after school together, we did assignments together, and we continued participating in theatre together. (Sorry I don't have any photos from earlier on in our friendship. I didn't make a facebook account until senior year of high school, so I have to rely on photos that people had previously taken and uploaded of us.)

A friend's birthday party, Junior Year. 2007

After a performance of Once Upon a Mattress, Junior Year. 2007

We had classes together throughout all of highschool. We got involved in the same church group in junior year. In junior year we were also both involved with our school's elite chamber choir and we toured to Ireland together (and snuggled together on the plane). 

Chamber Singers Tour to Ireland, Junior Year. 2007

Junior Prom. 2007

Summer before Senior Year. 2007

During senior year of high school, Britteny and I were pretty much inseparable. Our class schedule was exactly the same except for last period (Britteny didn't want to take Physics with me).

Homecoming, Senior Year. 2007

Field Trip, Senior Year. 2007

Camber Singers Tour, Senior Year. 2008

Chamber Singers Tour, Senior Year. 2008

South Central Emmaus, Senior Year. 2008

Chambers Concert, Senior Year. 2008
(Yes, those dresses completely covered our pants.
Our choir director still didn't like them.)

Senior Prom. 2008

High School Graduation. 2008

We went to the same university and made a bunch of mutual friends. We continued participating in theatre together, as well as going to campus events.

Drag Dance, Sophomore Year. 2010

Hanging out in between classes, Junior Year. 2011

Bowling Trip Summer before Senior Year. 2011

Britteny and I always considered each other to be the sisters that we never had. (I'm an only child, and she has two brothers.) During our senior year of university we lived together in an apartment with two other friends, and our living situation really brought out that "sister" relationship. We learned to make up after fights, always tell each other what we were thinking, and to forgive. We support each other no matter what, and our past, both the good times and the bad times, make our friendship as strong as it is today. (Note to self: Reception Toast...)

Now I wish I could include some more recent photos of the two of us from less than two years ago. Maybe a photo of when she asked me to be her Maid of Honor. Unfortunately, I believe that the next photo we take together will be in 2015 (the year of the wedding). Remember that strong friendship I talked about? Yeah well, it's surviving a 9,000 mile separation. I've recently moved to New Zealand, and Britteny and I have been making sure that we stay in contact, thanks to Skype and iMessage. I'm aiming to be home about 6 months before the wedding, and will be extra attentive to every detail since I have a whole lot of distance to make up for.

As a fun little bonus before I wrap this up, here is a video that Britteny and I made together during an excursion to New York City in January of 2011. (Incoming: lots of really nerdy references.)

So that's the friendship! I love this girl so much and I am so happy to be a part of her "happily ever after!"