This Blog Has Been Moved!

Hello!

My Maid of Honor blog, along with my other two blogs, has been relocated to WordPress! I'm very happy with the change and I hope that you will be too!

My WordPress page can be found here.

If you're interested specifically in my Maid of Honor blog posts, those and only those will appear here.

I've got a lot in the works and have been actively collecting material and ideas through my conversations with the Bride to Be and the Bridesmaids. I still have tons to share with all of you future Maids of Honor and Braidsmaids and I hope that you come on over and have a look!

Thanks for all of the support and I look forward to seeing you at my new home in the vast workings of the internet!

Rally the Troops

Your bride is going to need a lot of help, especially as the wedding approaches. She may ask a lot of you and she may not. Regardless, she's given you a team: the bridesmaids!

Here's the thing. You may all be best friends. You may all be sorority sisters. You may have gotten into a fight years ago, but the bride kept in touch with both sides. You may not know each other at all. But you're a team, and it's your job to lead the team and get them to work together.

I got pretty lucky with my team. I've known one of them for years and we are friends separate from our friendship with Britteny. I've known Britteny's cousin for a few years and we've always gotten along well. And though I didn't initially know Jon's younger sister, she's an absolute sweetheart.

Now if I was closer to these girls (I'm living in New Zealand until about 6 months before the wedding) I would have organized individual lunch dates with each girl, and then a group lunch for the four of us to get to know each other a bit better. I'd definitely suggest something of the sort if you can. I probably will still get all of us together for a meal or something when I'm able to next year. Better late than never.

In lieu of being able to actually meet with these girls I did the next best thing, which you should do regardless. I started a facebook thread. Actually, I started two. One with the bride, and one without. (This way, she has an easy way to contact all of us at once, and we have a way to plan surprises/brainstorm shower ideas/get to know eachother etc.) I also started a private facebook group with documents for us to all update regarding contact information, payment information (for when one person picks something us and needs people to pay her back), etc. (More information on all of this when I talk about organisation.)

I started the ball rolling by asking everyone to share how they know Jon and Britteny. I then asked that we all share a bit about ourselves. What do you like to do in your spare time, what are you excited to help out with, where do you work, when is your birthday, etc. You know, that kind of stuff.

I would suggest that if your team is a bit quiet at first to offer up information about yourself and let them follow suit to respond. I initially posed some questions, and after not getting a response for a few days answered the questions myself and then waited. Pretty quickly, each girl responded.

Lastly, make yourself available! I told these girls every possible way to contact me. Being so far away, I wanted to stress how easy it can be to reach me. I gave them all my email, skype account and phone number (since we all have iPhones, thank you technology). If you're able to meet up with them in person, maybe arrange cute little cards that they can keep in their wallet with the best ways to reach you. It could come in handy in case she comes up with an amazing time-sensitive idea, or she gets into an argument with another bridesmaid, or something has come up and there's no way for her to get to a meeting/appointment/whatever.

Main things to remember:

• You are a team! Regardless of your past, or lack-thereof, you need to work together for the good of the Bridal Party and the Bride.
• Bring the group together. Make it easy for them to contact each other and you.
• Try to connect with each girl individually, and encourage everyone to connect with each other.
• Get to know each other and share your strengths. Make a note of each girls' strengths for later task delegations. (One girl is a bookworm? Ask her to proofread address labels and invitations. One girl is a couponer? Ask her to work out the budget for the Bridal Shower.)
• Be ready and able to lead by example. Start the conversation, don't just ask questions.
• Make yourself available!

The Groom's Consultant

Now this post's title may seem a little weird and counter-intuitive, but I promise that it will make sense soon.

Systematically, the first task of the Maid of Honor takes place before she's actually the Maid of Honor. Now this task doesn't necessarily fall on the MoH, it may fall on the Bride's friend whom the Groom feels closest to, so if you find yourself completing this task, don't necessarily expect to be asked anything special any time soon.

As the future bride's best friend, it is your job to make sure that the moment she gets proposed to is maybe not what she always dreamed of, but something she’ll always remember. You know what she likes, and as her friend, you know what she needs.

So when the Groom says he wants to propose and asks for advice, location suggests and thoughts on the ring, you know what to say.

Jon and Britteny kind of had a plan for their engagement. They were going to get engaged during the summer of 2014 and have a one-year engagement before the wedding in 2015.

Jon wanted to surprise Britteny, so around February of 2013 he told me that he was moving the proposal up to Christmas 2013. (Britteny loves Christmas more than the average human being.) He started sending me pictures of rings and asking about how he should pop the question. Around Easter Jon had picked out the ring and decided that he couldn’t wait until Christmas, so it became Summer 2013.

Britteny and I have always talked about how she wanted her dad to be asked permission. I knew that she wanted her proposal to be simple, yet romantic. Jon and I discussed a romantic meal, followed by a walk through a park where he would pop the question. Lastly, the two would arrive at another restaurant to celebrate where they would be met by their families to congratulate them.

Jon and Britteny are both very close to their families, so being able to share this occasion with them was really important.

Main things to remember:

• Don’t think about what you want! Think about what the Bride would want!
• Be firm, but gentle. If you really know what’s best for your friend, then the Groom will listen. You’re on the same side here! Similarly, if the Groom really wants to incorporate something that you’re unsure about, trust him. This is your friend’s future life partner. It’s safe to say that he probably knows her as well as you do.
• Give advice only when asked! Do not offer up advice just because you know that an engagement is being planned!
• Do not spread the word unless the Groom asks you to as part of his plan!
• Do not take it personally if your suggestions are shot down! Ultimately, the Groom has to do what he is comfortable with.
• Don’t expect or ask for praise or credit! As the Maid of Honour, you’re going to be doing quite a bit of letting other people have moments in the spotlight. Start practicing now.