The Groom's Consultant

Now this post's title may seem a little weird and counter-intuitive, but I promise that it will make sense soon.

Systematically, the first task of the Maid of Honor takes place before she's actually the Maid of Honor. Now this task doesn't necessarily fall on the MoH, it may fall on the Bride's friend whom the Groom feels closest to, so if you find yourself completing this task, don't necessarily expect to be asked anything special any time soon.

As the future bride's best friend, it is your job to make sure that the moment she gets proposed to is maybe not what she always dreamed of, but something she’ll always remember. You know what she likes, and as her friend, you know what she needs.

So when the Groom says he wants to propose and asks for advice, location suggests and thoughts on the ring, you know what to say.

Jon and Britteny kind of had a plan for their engagement. They were going to get engaged during the summer of 2014 and have a one-year engagement before the wedding in 2015.

Jon wanted to surprise Britteny, so around February of 2013 he told me that he was moving the proposal up to Christmas 2013. (Britteny loves Christmas more than the average human being.) He started sending me pictures of rings and asking about how he should pop the question. Around Easter Jon had picked out the ring and decided that he couldn’t wait until Christmas, so it became Summer 2013.

Britteny and I have always talked about how she wanted her dad to be asked permission. I knew that she wanted her proposal to be simple, yet romantic. Jon and I discussed a romantic meal, followed by a walk through a park where he would pop the question. Lastly, the two would arrive at another restaurant to celebrate where they would be met by their families to congratulate them.

Jon and Britteny are both very close to their families, so being able to share this occasion with them was really important.

Main things to remember:

• Don’t think about what you want! Think about what the Bride would want!
• Be firm, but gentle. If you really know what’s best for your friend, then the Groom will listen. You’re on the same side here! Similarly, if the Groom really wants to incorporate something that you’re unsure about, trust him. This is your friend’s future life partner. It’s safe to say that he probably knows her as well as you do.
• Give advice only when asked! Do not offer up advice just because you know that an engagement is being planned!
• Do not spread the word unless the Groom asks you to as part of his plan!
• Do not take it personally if your suggestions are shot down! Ultimately, the Groom has to do what he is comfortable with.
• Don’t expect or ask for praise or credit! As the Maid of Honour, you’re going to be doing quite a bit of letting other people have moments in the spotlight. Start practicing now.